Illness and Photos

 Hello all.  My previous post left you all with me feeling tired and ill, so if you don't mind, I would like to continue on that topic.  Friday night I went to the house and went straight to bed.  Sure enough, I quickly developed a fever and chills and stayed in bed for the rest of the night.  I slept little, and in the morning I cancelled all my plans for the day.  My fever was much worse, accompanied by a headache, sore throat, pain behind my eyes, and it felt like my body was on fire.  If I liked Disco......(Burn Baby Burn Disco Inferno........). Perhaps this is what dragons feel like.  Anyway, I got up out of bed maybe 3 times and my guest family was wonderfully accommodating.  The end result was me getting a call from my parents, us praying about it, me falling asleep and then waking up later around 7 p.m. with a broken fever.  I was still feeling pretty weak because I'd had no appetite all day.  Thankfully, I woke up Sunday morning feeling much better with no fever and only a sore throat.....so I thought.
   Our agenda had scheduled for us a trip to Upper Austria.  We were to meet on the bus at a crisp 6:50 a.m.  Conveniently enough for me, I had woken up at 2 a.m. and had not yet been successful in falling back asleep.  I got dressed and felt some weird prickly pain on my foot, right in between my big toe and the pad of my foot.  I didn't think anything of it and assumed I had somehow gotten a blister or something of the sort.  I got to the bus and we were on our way.
                                     --Here I'd like to interject and thank all of the friends I have made here for being so considerate of me these past couple of days.  They have been gems, all of them. --
Our journey progressed past lakes and mountains, from Beautiful Baroque to the Heartwrenching Concentration Camp Mauthausen.  (I took pictures, however, I will not be posting them online.  If you would like to see them/talk to me about the experience, please ask.)  As we walked a little here and there, I found that my foot was hurting me a lot more...then my other foot as well...then I found a little red dot on my thumb that was tender...then a few more. What on earth??? Walking got more difficult as the day went on (not terribly bad, but a nuisance none the less), and I thought nothing more of my feet than simply blisters...right?

Bah.

Once we were back in Salzburg I checked, and no blisters were to be found.  Instead, there were little bumps, some reds bumps, and two sad little somewhat swollen feet.  I tried to reason what it was and thought maybe I'd had an allergic reaction to a detergent maybe but it was late enough to just go to sleep and figure it out the next day.  Monday (today) morning nothing had improved.  My feet still hurt as well as my fingers, and I still could not reason through what had caused it.  My guestfamily urged me to talk to the Director of the college here and see a Doctor.  I don't even like seeing Doctors in the States...let alone in other countries.  Despite that, I got an appointment set up, and went to see a German doctor.  (Honestly, when I said I wanted to experience everything here...I guess I really meant everything.)  The doctor's visit resulted in me gaining what I now call my "Foot Cream" and no new knowledge of what caused it.  Afterwards, however, when I was talking to some of the girls, they told me about how the same situation had happened to them after they had had a fever.  They described a similar experience, so I am counting that as the reason for the burning sensation happening on my feet right now. (I feel like I'm walking on fire...yeah, I'm just that cool apparently haha.)  If there is no improvement in the next couple of days or so, I'll have a problem because we leave for  Vienna, but until then, I kind of hobble on my heels.  It's actually quite fun to watch.   : )

Hellbrunn Palace

Otherwise, everything has been/is still wonderful!  Sunday was a great day and as a treat for reading through that lengthy narrative here are some pictures for you!  Enjoy!

At the Watergames, Hellbrunn Palace

Also from Hellbrunn Palace :)

A Piano set up in the hut/cottage where Gustav Mahler liked  to compose.

Mauthausen Concentration Camp

Mauthausen Concentration Camp

Hallstadt

Hallstadt

Hallstadt

Ich bin ein bisschen krank und müde.

Hallo von Österreich!!!  


   It is a gorgeous, rainy day here in Salzburg.  The past couple of days have been abnormally warm/dry for Salzburg's typical spring, so the rain is very welcome.  Last night in fact, we had two storms.  The first, was hail.  Yep, pretty big (approximately nickle sized) and then the second was a most invigorating Blitzen und Donner Storm (lightning and thunder storm).  While sitting and watching Germany's Next Top Model with the fam and one of my host family's previous students who popped in to visit, Laura and I took a look out the window.  I asked if she was scared and the  response I got was,  "Nein!  Kein Angst (No, I am not scared)."  I then leaned a tadbit out of the window and a flash of lightning struck the sky and then I felt a little hand jerk me back from the window and down.  I look at Laura, the owner of said hand, and she says..."Ok....ein bisschen Angst...(Ok...a little bit scared)."  Adorable.


  Today we went to see a rehearsal for a full orchestra performance and I thought about something I had never thought about before.  German is a hard language to whisper quietly because the "s, sh, ch" sounds carry so well and are very prominent in German.  (Just to make clear, I wasn't the one whispering during the practice.)  The rehearsal  ended and we headed back to the school.  In order to prolong the good, quality music listening, I pulled up Youtube and played probably the best option.  It's Raining Men. Right?  


 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


  I had to take a break from writing because it was time to go on an excursion with my German class.  We went to a Buch Flohmarkt (book flea market) and I bought two adorable, little books that have German quotes in them about friendship.  After a stop in a coffee shop, we headed back to school, in a downpour.  :)  And what would naturally ensue from me if it is raining???  


Wait for it.........I-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-mmmmmmmmmmmmmm SINGING IN THE RAIN!!!! 


  What else? (Unless of course I started singing It's Raining Men, both are great options.)  Now I am a little worried that I have gotten sick.  I woke up with a prickle in my throat and now I feel warm but I have chills as well. Hopefully it's just the rain, but I think it might be more.

Of course more has happened than what I've typed here, zum Beispiel (for example), I went to a concert the other night, (in a dress, with hair done, and heels...p.s. Almost every road here is cobblestone...) with some of the other girls and it lent itself to some wonderful Kodak moments.

  

If you didn't know I was a ham before, you should now.


I have also been on a bus bombarded by at least 50 children...I have taken two tests (One in German and one in Music History), and I have finished Sense and Sensibility.  Out of curiosity, I counted how many days I have left in Austria, and, only counting the days when I will be in Salzburg, I have a mere 13.  Das macht mir traurige (That makes me sad.)  On the other hand, it will be fun to see other countries in Europe and then make my way home to my family and friends.  


I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and I am keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers as well.  I should be finished for now though, weil ich ein bisschen krank und müde bin (because I am a little sick and tired).  No worries!


Tchüss!  

Ein Lauf durch Salzburg

Hallo!   

   As always, since my last post, a thousand and one things have happened.  This past Friday (p.s. I don't have any classes on Friday...WIN!) the girls and I chilled at the school and then went back to Europark (Europark is cool enough to justify a second trip so soon) and then went back again to school and then parted each our separate ways.  I went back to the house and enjoyed an afternoon of sunshine, getting tan (take note...tan, not burnt...that equals another win), and playing with the kids.  It was such an enjoyable Nachmittag (after midday) and Abend (evening).  On Saturday, 6 other girls and I met at the school and then explored the market.  Hello food.  Lots of it.  And all of it good food too.  I bought a pretzel the size of my head (please refrain from "big head" comments) and then a carton of fresh strawberries to share.  The other girls purchased their food and then off we were to adventure through the Zoo. (I had a very entertaining conversation about how "Zoo" is pronounced in German, not like "zoo", rather, "Tsoh").  

   The Zoo was delightful I have to say.  It was filled with animals we recognized only by pictures, because naturally, all the names were in German.  Zum Beispiel, ein Löwe ist ein "Lion" auf Deutsch (For example, Löwe means "Lion" in German).  We got to pet some sheep and got reeeally close to some llamas (cuz' who doesn't love llamas?).  There were also some monkeys we happily imagined to be saying things like,  "Hey, hey you, you lady with the camera! Here, here take a picture!  This is my good side!!"  Or  "Look at me! I am Jean Pierre, Master tight rope walker, A haa haa!" (somehow that one became French).  Overall, it was a wonderful time with new friends and slightly stinky animals. 

  The same group of girls and I had intended to go hiking on Sunday (because as I've mentioned before, everyone hikes here on a regular basis, and I'm only slightly exaggerating).  First on the list, however, was a church service.  We went to Mass in the Dom (pictured here) which is one of the biggest, fanciest cathedrals in Salzburg.  The problem was, it started at 10, and at 11 was a service in English that three of us desperately wanted to go to.....so we did the unimaginable...(please don't judge me)  we walked out of mass.  Heh.....oops.  

  Anyway, we ended up getting over to the church right at 11 only to find out that the English service was held in a different building...way across town.  Heh.....double oops.  We decided to get a little bite to eat instead and watch an online service on Monday at school.  I then headed back to the house for some good ol' grillen. (It is a very good thing that I decided to not be vegetarian or even half vegetarian while here.)  We had so much food and it was all delicious.  (Good thing we hike so much).  I finished up my homework and called it good for the day, read some Jane Austen Sense and Sensibility (which we talked about being so difficult to read, let alone if you don't know English very well), then tucked myself into bed for the night.  

  To prevent this post from being too much longer, I will sum up with saying that everything is still going wonderfully here.  I am loving my classes, the people, the city, the language, the food (ooohh the food), and the opportunities God is putting before me.  He never fails to provide our needs, sometimes before we even ask of them, and I have met some truly beautiful people here who have quickly become friends on this walk with God.  One last thing to leave you with; one of my favorite things to do is go jogging.  Not just because I enjoy jogging, because that definitely isn't always the case, but because when I am jogging (or walking) it allows for some quiet time with God.  I get to jog, and for me, it feels like I am headed somewhere, that I have a purpose.  On my jog this morning (at 6 a.m.), during one of the walking breaks, I stopped, looked around, and really thought about the fact that I was in another country, so far from home, yet still so close to God.  It was a beautiful Lauf durch Salzburg (run through Salzburg).  

~Me 

Photos!

I've been pressured by people to take more pictures and to put more pictures up online (*ahem..Mother*).  Here are a few pictures I've taken throughout the trip so far.  Also, the past couple of days have been mostly classes and some excursions with friends.  We went to Europark (HUGE and really cool looking shopping mall) and did a little bit of shopping (Hairspray, perfume, chocolate) and some exploring.  It was very cool (and cheaper than the stores in the inner city where the tourists scour the earth).  We had our first kleine Prufung (small test/quiz) and it went quite well I think. Tomorrow, some of the girls and I have a picnic planned and a hike and possibly a trip to a castle (cuz' you know, that's so common here).  We've also been to a Second Hand store here (Yay for thrifting everywhere). Ok, now time for some pictures.  

 Sunrise from my Plane ride.  

 A plaque on a building here.  See! I'm meant to come here!

  Hike to Salzkammergut, Wolfgangsee

 Austrian Cows!!!

 Gorgeous Cathedral

 Laura and Lisa IN my wardrobe....

 The small teeny little sign on our building.

 The McDonalds that provides me with Internet.

 Lisa and Laura in my Suitecase!  Aren't my souvenirs great??

Until next time!

Me

Ich Bin Nicht Alleine

And now!  A full post.  (Forewarning...full post = really super duper long post that probably doesn't need to be this long but will be because I like to talk/write and I have enough battery life in my computer to write that much....you have been warned.)

Like I had written in the preview/previous post, a lot of things have already happened since a few days ago.  Our Munich trip was yesterday which started out a little cold, got a tad colder with a side dish of rain, and then broke out into a beautiful, sunny afternoon/evening.  We learned a lot of history (mostly World                                                                    This is  Wolfgangsee from the day before...our deathly hike.

War II) as well as learned a lot more about eachother.  There is a wonderful group of girls here that I tend to flock to.  They are smart, nice, good-natured, funny, considerate, polite, awesome, and all around wonderful.  It's been a blast getting to know them and making friends here.  

We also started actual classes.  I am enrolled in History of Music and German II.

(To the left is just an example of me playing with food.)

History of Music is so cool (I just said History was cool....write it down people, that doesn't happen very often)!  We learn about architecture, and art, and all the other influences of the time period, as well as the music history itself.  Then in German II, we have a HUGE group of students topping off at a staggering 3.  Phew.  The class is so much fun though and I love 

having the chance to speak German during the day in a classroom setting as well as in the morning and night with my host family.  The only problem is when I take my homework to Martina and she looks at it....looks at it some more...gives it a few more minutes...then asks, "Have you already submitted this??"  with a very hesitant, concerned expression (haha we laughed so hard last night at the story I had to write in German...maybe I'm not learning as much as I had thought.)  She is a huge help to me each day and is such a good host mother.  We are both very pleased with the arrangement.  

Then today, we had classes in the morning and went to Hellbrunn Palace and the Water Games in the afternoon.  It was gorgeous (as is most everything here in Salzburg) as well as exciting. Now, if you know me well enough, you'll know that I really like water.  I like to drink it, play in it, make others play in it (sometimes involuntarily), walk in it, dance in it, sing..blah blah blah and so on.  Well, the Wasserspielen (Water Games) is actually a sort of garden area that was built by a prince (I think) who would invite guests over.  Sometimes, however, guests can get kind of unbearable so what would he do?  He would use water pressure and other methods to trick people and spray water at them in some form. For example, they would be seated at the table, and the chair would spray water right at their patooties (butts, if you don't know what that means).  Heh heh.  I want that in my house.

We also went on a mini hike today (an unexpected mini hike, might I add) and I was pretty happy about that. I am under the impression that hiking is a normal occurrence for Salzburgians, and since we didn't hike yesterday, I was feeling a little sluggish.  Besides, I fully plan on having a beast of a body after this trip (calves of steel and thighs of iron at least) so hiking is necessary.  

On a not so happy note, in regard to two posts ago, you know, the part about not smiling at people because I look too friendly and then people ask me how old I am and if I go to dance clubs and if they can have my number?  Yeah.  My tally is at 4 now....bleh.  I need to start making really bizarre faces at people when they start to talk to me.  Yay for effective methods of diversion!

The last thing I want to write about is people.  As I mentioned above, I've made some new friends here which is wonderful.  It reminds me that people are the same every.  They are the same in that people vary just as much here as they do back home.  Traditions are different, clothing styles are different, speech patterns, behaviors - everything varies by person, not necessarily by location.  There are the people that kind of drive me crazy, those that can be considered friends, and then there are those who share the same thoughts, who can blend into others' personalities without losing their own and are a ton of fun to be around.  Everyone has similarities and everyone has differences.  It's nice to know that I have some friends here too, und ich bin nicht alleine (I am not alone).

Love from Salzburg,

Victoria

P.S.  It's super cool, I have been introducing myself as Victoria here so that's what everyone calls me.  Hee I love it!

Sunny Salzburg

This isn't a full post...but I wanted to write something in the 15 minutes that I have before lunch. Yep, I'm eating lunch here at 11:30 while it is only around 4:30 am back home...  Anyway, a quickie update.  Since the hike of doom, we have toured Munich (about 2 hours away in Germany), I've had my first class of music history and of German (sooo much fun!  Only three students), I've gotten a chance to chill with Martina and watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire in German, I've gotten and decorated my new mug, and today we are going to Hellbrunn Palace.  That is all for now and then I will hopefully have time (they keep us very busy) to write something longer later.  All is good (especially the food and people)!

Until Later!

Me

Ein Berg ist Genug

   It feels like ages have past since I've written something, partially because so much has happened.  The last time I wrote, it was my second day of school and it was raining.  Since then, we have had a Welcome Party in which all of the Host Families met up with all of the students at a brewery with a TON of good food, we have had a functional tour of the city, a historical tour of the city, a music concert, a history of Salzburg crashcourse, oh, and a hike up a mountain.

Yeah.  A mountain.  They call it a hump....because they don't realize that in Iowa, we have no such thing as a mountain...not even hills.  We have fields and perhaps some mounds...piles of extra dirt if you will...piles of extra dirt that are eradicated to make room for more fields.  Welcome to Iowa.  The hump here, however, has a beautifully scenic view from a tragically inaccessible peak that seems like death to a non-hiker such as myself.  No, honestly it wasn't that bad, and the scene was breathtaking (haha, see what I did there??), but it definitely is not something I have done before.   The hike started, however, with an interesting encounter with a guy on his bike needing directions.  I need to learn how to put my smile away, because apparently I looked like just the person to ask.   The conversation progressed into, "Do you go to night clubs??" Me - "No, too old for that. I like my sleep."  "Oh but you look so cute today!  What are you, 17? 18? 19?"   By the end of the conversation, I found out some new "things" about myself - I have a family that I am living with in Austria, with three BIG, older brothers and one younger sister, I have a boyfriend back in America, I don't have a cell phone number that works in Austria, I am at least 25 years old, I hate technology (so therefore I don't have a facebook), and I am Catholic.  Good to know I guess.

After that interesting detour, I met the rest of the students and we went on our hike.  It was truly amazing and wonderful to see firsthand the natural beauty that is available to us (too bad it takes 3 hours to get there.  I'm fairly positive that by the end of this trip I am going to be very much in shape...).  After the hike, we all felt as though we had accomplished some great task and the reward was some shopping (and ice cream, which I proceeded to order for 4 other girls in German).  Shopping wise, I got a beautiful blue and black scarf for only 5 Euros.  Sehr gut und billig (very good and cheap).  It was a great day of making new friends, burning 10,000 calories, enjoying beautiful scenery, and testing my street-smart aversion skills.  I can't wait to see where my next adventure takes me (well, I mean, I know that tomorrow it will take me to Munich...but you know what I mean), and I'm excited to see who I will meet along the way.

Hope you continue to join me!

P.S.  The Sound of Music had NO idea what it was saying when it said "Climb every Mountain"....climb one mountain and then try singing that song.....let me know how that goes.  Ein Berg is genug (one mountain is enough).

Es regnet

         Hallo!  Currently, I am sitting in a beautiful, old, mysterious building with a few of the other students.  We had a wonderful first day of "classes" (classes, meaning orientation, a brief city tour, and welcome party) and then we had some time to walk around.  I needed to buy a bus pass (sehr billiger, dann ein Pass pro Tag, much cheaper than one pass per day) so one of the other students and I embarked on our journey through our newly acquainted city. 


     Sure enough, as Austria always promises, it started raining. A light, adorable little sprinkle at first.  One drop there, another there, one on my head....no big deal.  We went into the store so I could buy my bus pass and it was so fun!  The man there knew some English but I was prepared with my key phrases.  Oh, you would have been proud of me.  I ordered that bus pass with finesse.  I even managed some friendly banter as he was getting my change and then as we left....ohhh there it was...that monster of a rain that washes every single cobblestone into a shiny, light gray clean.  Thankfully, my wonderful HostMutter (Host mother) prepared me with an umbrella so that I didn't end up taking an unintentional shower.  It was so refreshing there, to walk down the cobblestone, with people passing by, and with the rain...so beautiful.  At the same time, it was somewhat amusing to me to think about the others who did not bring an umbrella, and how I would have been in the same situation if it weren't for Martina (Vielen Dank, Martina!).  As I started to sing "Singing in the Rain" (because I'm a character who has no dignity and doesn't care what others think about me heh) the girl I was with and I decided to take some pictures. We figured that our first day walking around with a big group was a good excuse to look like a  tourist...might as well embrace it!


   It has been a good day so far with meeting a new group of people and with getting to see the city (without getting lost...not that I got lost yesterday or anything...).  It was odd, however, to have so many people around me speaking English.  For the past three days now, I have spoken the majority German, and I had the impulse to respond to my fellow English speakers, not in English, but yes, in German.  The results (in regard to German speaking) of this trip are looking good!  Be prepared oh friends, to have no idea what I am saying for at least the first week before I get used to using English again.  Ich bin sehr aufgeregt (I am very excited)!   


   I hope all is well wherever you happen to be reading this and that all is good!  
With love, from Austria, where es regnet (it is raining).  


Victoria
  


  

Welcome to My New Adventure!

       Hallo aus Österreich!!!


I am not sure how to begin except that everything is amazing. I guess I should start with my trip.  The plane ride (my second plane ride ever) was long...Long.  Good, but long.  I left from Chicago (busy, confusing place), then landed in Philadelphia for a 2 hour wait, then departed for Munich (yeah, Deutschland!).  Once there, I found my checked suitecase (Koffer) with relative ease due to some "Funky Flamingo" pink duct tape (Thank you, Mom). I saw a person chuckle at me when I passed because all three of my bags had matching "Funky Flamingo" pink duct tape on them.   Once I had claimed that which was mine, I now had to get from Munich, Germany to Salzburg, Austria.  And there, behold, was the little kiosk/desk/service center through which I had booked a shuttle service pass to my host family's house.  The driver, who's name I do not know, was very nice.  He spoke little English, I speak little German; it was a good time.  He helped explain some things, language-wise to me on the ride (about 2 hours) while we listened to BB King, Doors, and talked about Micheal Jackson.  


I was very sleepy and kept dozing off in the van but then he turned a corner, and there I saw a beautifully yellow house, with a garden, pool, trampolene, and a large "41" on the side. It was the most comforting thing I had seen in the past 24 hours or so.  I then met Martina, Lisa, and Laura.  Later, Martin came home from work and Martina went to work.  In the evening, when we had time to sit and eat, I got a chance to talk to all of them.  They tell me that my German is good.....heh heh.  Ich denke nicht (I think not), but we get along just fine!  Both Martin and Martina speak some English and they are very good at helping me understand what they are saying.  I am their 12th international home stay student.  Fwooh! 


After a tour of the house, a trip to the store, some more time with each family member, and a trip into the center of Salzburg (please note here, that it only took me an hour to find the McDonalds in which I am using the free itnernet and typing), I am feeling pretty good.  School starts tomorrow and man oh man, I am ready!  It is going to be a great experience here.  The people are nice, the weather is gorgeous, it is a busy and active city, and there is so much to do!  It is good to be here and very exciting.  Welcome to My New Adventure!


Me


P.S.  Ich finde es ein bisschen schwer zu auf English schreiben...(I find it a little difficult to write in English..) .because I have been speaking only German for 3 days now. Ohhh so good. :)   

A Page at a Time

OH my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness....Austria is so close, so unbelievably close.    Ich bin für meine Reise sehr aufgeregt (I am very excited for my trip), but there are still many things I have to do.  It has always amazed me how, when you finish one thing, another pops its head up and says, "Hey! Hey you! Yeah you! Over here!" and then you're off again, writing more To-Do lists and losing more hair and sleep over stress.  


Planning for this trip has been somewhat similar; one thing will get checked off, then another thing will pop up, whether school related, ResLife related, socially related, or Austria itself related.  There is just always a TON to do.  At the moment, I must finish packing my things here at school, take a final at 7:30 a.m., run check outs for awhile, load up my car, drive home, unpack, repack, get last minutes things in order, drive to Chicago, catch flight, blah blah blah and so on....but don't worry, this whole post isn't going to be me complaining.  For that matter, I really have nothing to complain about, so let's move on.  


The real reasons for this post are one) to have a post that is pre-travel, two) it's fun to post, and three) to share a recent realization.  My recent realization is this, I am beginning a brand new chapter in my life.  We have these nice separations throughout our lives (most often defined by school...how dreadful) that divide our lives into quaint, orderly sections.  College was my last chapter and now I am into a new one, and if it were to have a title, it would probably read :    Watch Out Europe:  You Have No Idea What You Got Your Self Into!  As this new chapter unfolds though, it must naturally mean that an old chapter is closing.  That was a tough thing for me to handle.    It meant realizing that everyone is moving on, becoming something more, and growing in different ways...not bad ways, just, different.  It meant saying "goodbye" to some people that I didn't want to say "goodbye" to.  It also means that I will be changing.  We are always changing and I think this is my next big chapter.  For that though, I am excited.  


I am excited to see where I go, and what I see, and who I meet.  I am excited to grow as a person, as a guest,  as a traveler, as a daughter, sister, friend, and servant.  I am excited to see promises unfold before me.        This is my next, adventurous chapter and I would like to think I am ready for it, but we will just have to see won't we?  I have closed a chapter in my life to make room for the next, and soon I will be on my way, a page at a time.  


Sincerely, 
Victoria

Beautifully Composed

 "He hath made all things Beautiful in His time..."

      I may just be too excited about blogging because it's still new to me, but I'm posting again already (don't get use to posts being this frequent).  The topic of post number two- nothing related to my trip to Austria, but it is another part of me.

       Composing music is a process.  For some people it comes so amazingly naturally that they can come up with a masterpiece in 10 minutes.  For others it is a laborious task that creates frustration, moments of elation, and frequently (for me at least), writer's block.
      Do you know that sometimes I get writer's block in my life?  I just have no clue what to do sometimes -  it stops me up short, and usually ends up with me sleeping a lot more than normal.  People make fun of me for not being able to make decisions sometimes, but this is the worst.  This is when I can't figure out what to do next in my life and I replay over and over the past couple of days.  I do this when writing music as well.  On piano especially.  I will get stuck somewhere, so I go back and play the most recent line over and over and over again.  Then, when my frustration is at an all time high, I will just throw something down on the page, call it good, and go on.
      Other times, however, when I am patient enough, I will wait until the inspiration returns.  You know what happens?  Usually when I wait, the result is much better.
      (As you can kind of tell already, this blog is going to be a semi-inspirational, semi-reflective type of blog so bear with me as I get all "deep - thinker" on you. )
      I find the parallel with music and life in this sense.  When I push my plans into motion just because I am anxious and can't wait, something is bound to go wrong.  At the least, the ride will be a bit bumpy.  When I wait, however...patiently and quietly wait, it tends to elicit better results.  This does not imply at all that I use this as an excuse to be lazy.  That's not what I'm saying.  I'm saying that patience is a virtue (have you heard that somewhere before?).  It is important to not wish moments of your life away because we are so anxious to know what happens next...That is a difficult thing for a 20 year old to do, let me tell ya'.  My goal is to live each moment as if it is entirely important by itself.  I won't just slop something together so that I can finish my composition or make a decision.  I won't replay the past over and over hoping to find resolution or inspiration.  
     I will live my life to make meaning.  Then, when I'm not expecting or waiting for something specific to happen, when it does, it will be so perfectly and beautifully composed.